The MACU Report

announcer

a slick 1970s television pitchman in a plaid jacket at a radio microphone, wide grin, studio backdrop

assayer

a gaunt man in a silk cravat at a white-linen tasting bench, a single paper packet before him, candlelight, two glass eyedroppers, museum stillness

auctioneer

a thin nervous auctioneer at a tall wooden podium, gavel raised, candlelit gala hall, worn formal suit

bartholomew

a sweating nervous man in a frayed cardigan and bow tie kneeling behind a small puppet stage, forcing a smile, dim playroom, a marionette on strings beside him

bobby

a grinning salvage lot owner in a loud jacket atop a crate pyramid, arms spread, banners

bodhi

a serene bald coach in a tracksuit and dark sunglasses, beatific calm, in a ruined bunker kitchen

bodhi_compost

a serene bald coach in a tracksuit and dark sunglasses, seated cross-legged at the rim of a smoky crater, beatific calm, 1970s broadcast, meditative hand gestu…

bodhi_field

a serene bald coach in a tracksuit and dark sunglasses, seated cross-legged on the floor of a smoky crater stadium, beatific calm, 1970s broadcast

bodhi_serene

a serene bald coach in a tracksuit and dark sunglasses, beatific calm, 1970s broadcast, seated cross-legged, speaking calmly, hands open

brenda

a beaming overly cheerful woman standing at a game show contestant podium, wide excited smile, bright studio lights behind her

buck

a slick grinning game show host in a shiny wide-lapel suit, gleaming teeth, holding a microphone on a sparkling 1970s game show stage with lights, looking at c…

bureau_chair

a severe middle-aged man in wire glasses at a government podium in an empty hearing room, rows of vacant chairs, monotone civic bearing

carl

a manic face-painted superfan in a team scarf shouting into a microphone, wild grin, in a bunker kitchen

carl_call

a manic superfan sports correspondent in face paint and a team scarf, at the rim of a smoky crater stadium, 1970s broadcast, mid play-by-play, pointing at the …

carl_hit

a manic superfan sports correspondent in face paint and a team scarf, at the rim of a smoky crater stadium, 1970s broadcast, wincing and gesturing wildly, dust…

carl_lone

a manic superfan sports correspondent in face paint and a team scarf, at the rim of a smoky crater stadium, 1970s broadcast, checking a clipboard, manic grin

carl_manic

a manic superfan sports correspondent in face paint and a team scarf, at the rim of a smoky crater stadium, 1970s broadcast, wild grin, shouting into a microph…

carl_sideline

a manic superfan sports correspondent in face paint and a team scarf, at the rim of a smoky crater stadium, 1970s broadcast, wild grin, shouting into a microph…

chet

a sturdy unbothered middle-aged man in a clean apron, sleeves rolled, behind a small wooden roadside lemonade stand with a hand-painted sign, golden hour

chip

a manic cheerful weatherman in a wide-lapel checkered blazer, pointing, hair slightly wrong

chip_pleasant

a manic grinning weatherman in a wide-lapel checkered blazer pointing at a chalkboard weather map, wild eyes, big toothy smile, 1970s television studio

congregant

a robed cult congregant holding a steel tumbler aloft, mid-rotation, dusty floodlight

connoisseur

a prim collector in a silk cravat and white gloves in a candlelit bunker lined with shelves of drinking vessels, reverent

cricket_bulb

an old wooden cricket marionette, strings leading up to the ceiling, lazy painted grin, under a bare bulb

cricket_tilt

an old wooden cricket marionette, head tilting on its strings toward the camera, glass eyes

cricket_wave

an old wooden cricket marionette giving a slow wave on its strings, under a bare bulb

curator

a debonair sinister older man in a black tuxedo and cape, thin mustache, arched eyebrow, standing in a candlelit gothic parlor, theatrical menacing smile, look…

daryl

a beach-bum wasteland day-trader in a salvaged blazer over a bare chest, sun-bleached hair, fanning paper packets like a poker hand

detractor

a nervous sweating gaunt man in a frayed coat sitting in deep shadow, face mostly hidden, gap-toothed, glancing fearfully to the side, dim interview room, sing…

digger

a weathered digger in a knit cap on a folding chair, leaning on a shovel, floodlights behind him, unimpressed

dr_bright

a smiling kindly doctor in a white coat with a round head mirror, cheerful reassuring bedside manner, standing on a 1970s television medical set, anatomical ch…

dusty

a frantic stock market reporter in shirtsleeves and a loosened tie, shouting and gesturing on a chaotic trading floor, a big board of numbers behind him, 1970s…

earl

a hopeful wary ordinary man in a patched coat, nervous hopeful smile

everwell

a polished pale-wood casket pod standing upright in a softly lit funeral showroom, a single round glowing dial set into its closed lid, brass fittings, an omin…

fanged_one

a small fanged plush toy sitting inert on a news desk, glassy eyes, slightly wrong

fern

a kind middle-aged woman in an apothecary apron at a folding table of telephones, warm

fern_apothecary

a serene beatific woman in muted robes among shelves of dried herbs and glass jars in a dim apothecary, soft light, calm healer, faint smile, 1970s broadcast

gerald

a nervous sweating man in frayed clothes standing on a ruined settlement street, forced smile, glancing over his shoulder, dim daylight

gerald_kitchen

a nervous gap-toothed man with a frayed collar in a dim kitchen, forced calm smile

gerald_monitor_nod

a nervous gap-toothed man on a television monitor, nodding slowly with grim solidarity

gerald_shadow

a nervous gap-toothed man not turning around, a marionette's shadow cast on the wall behind him, dim kitchen

gerald_shadow_big

a nervous gap-toothed man, gentle, a large marionette shadow looming on the wall behind him

gerald_toast

a nervous gap-toothed man raising a soda can in a small toast, faint sad smile, dim

goldtooth

a flamboyant dentist with a gleaming gold tooth, jeweler's loupe, chairside studio, silk suit

gourmand

a sleek sinister chef in a dark apron at a kitchen counter, holding one long knife, thin cold smile

herzog

a weathered European man in a green field jacket standing in a desolate wasteland holding a microphone, intense serious expression, wind-blown, documentary fie…

last_slag

a battered exhausted crater-ball player in dented scrap armor, seated at a news desk, hollow thousand-yard stare, 1970s broadcast

last_slag_door

a battered crater-ball player in dented scrap armor, glancing wistfully toward a studio door, dazed, 1970s broadcast

marigold

a serene smiling woman with flowers and dried plants woven into her long hair, draped in pale robes, sitting cross-legged in a greenhouse full of overgrown fun…

masked_man

a man wearing a paper grocery bag over his head with a friendly face drawn on it, sitting for an interview under a single bulb

miss_cinder

an elegant composed woman in a tasteful apron and pearls, setting a table in a ruined concrete bunker, ash and rubble around her, soft domestic lighting, seren…

mr_cricket

an old wooden cricket marionette with a wide painted grin and glass eyes, strings leading up out of frame, sitting on a tiny stool under a spotlight, unsettling

naturalist

a gaunt weathered naturalist in a faded field jacket, half-lit at the edge of a ruined kitchen, watching intently

norm

a smiling cheerful man in a short-sleeve dress shirt and clip-on tie, standing in front of a hulking concrete cooling tower, giving a relaxed thumbs up, suburb…

norm_glowplant

a smiling cheerful man in a short-sleeve dress shirt and clip-on tie, faint glow to his teeth, giving a relaxed thumbs up in front of a hulking concrete nuclea…

norm_tunnel

a smiling cheerful man in a short-sleeve dress shirt and clip-on tie, faint glow to his teeth, thumbs up at the mouth of a glowing stadium tunnel, 1970s broadc…

radbites_tin

a tin box on a breakfast table, mushroom cloud image on tin box. 1970's product ad. healthy breakfast.

ron

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, sitting at a vintage news desk read…

ron_alarmed

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, ala…

ron_alone

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, alone at the news desk, moonlight o…

ron_alone_field

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit, two stripes of team face paint, bulky shoul…

ron_bargain

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, leaning close to a vending machine,…

ron_bet

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_certain

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, an …

ron_cheer

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, fis…

ron_closeup

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, face too close to the camera lens, …

ron_coins

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, frantically jamming fistfuls of coi…

ron_consistency

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_crater_pads

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit, two stripes of team face paint, bulky shoul…

ron_crumpled

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, crumpled on his knees at the anchor…

ron_defiant

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, chi…

ron_dread

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, wide-eyed with dread, gripping the …

ron_facepaint

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, fer…

ron_fervent

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, sta…

ron_field

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit, two stripes of team face paint, bulky shoul…

ron_fraying

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, fra…

ron_horror

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, dawning horror on his face, hand ov…

ron_idea

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, an …

ron_lunge

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, scrambling out of his chair, lungin…

ron_moved

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_omen

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_open

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, exhausted and twitchy with dark cir…

ron_pads

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, bul…

ron_paperwork

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint smea…

ron_phone

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_point_monitor

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, half standing and pointing at a tel…

ron_point_up

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, looking up at the studio ceiling, a…

ron_protective

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint, gen…

ron_proud

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint smea…

ron_radiant

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint with…

ron_recover

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, two stripes of team face paint smea…

ron_strain

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, medium shot, pressed chest-first ag…

ron_tooth

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, hand to his mouth, eyes watering, h…

ron_watch

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, wrenching a wristwatch off his wris…

ron_wild

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, wild-eyed, leaning across the news …

ron_window

Will Ferrell as a 1970s television news anchor, thick brown mustache, side-parted brown hair, wide-lapel grey suit and tie, gesturing wildly at a dark studio w…

roscoe

a hulking wasteland bouncer in a tight muscle shirt and dark sunglasses, arms crossed, theatrical wrestling poses

rose

a sweet elderly woman with soft white hair in a floral apron and pearls, beaming, stirring an enormous pot in a ruined concrete bunker kitchen

safe

a vintage wooden console cabinet with a single round glowing glass lens in its center, sitting in a cozy 1950s living room, soft lamplight, floral wallpaper, a…

seth

a nervous sweating gaunt man in a frayed coat, gap-toothed, glancing fearfully to the side, dim

stride

a confident charismatic man in a rumpled suit, energetic hand gestures, 1970s broadcast studio lights

sweet

a smooth calm wasteland dealer in a pristine pale apron over a collared shirt, folded hands, faint knowing smile, standing beside rain barrels

sykes

a loud effusive grateful man in a worn jacket, hand on his chest, emotional

tally_man

a tall gaunt pale man in a black undertaker suit and bowler hat, holding a large leather ledger and a pencil, standing in a doorway at dusk, expressionless, st…

vendor

a battered old glass-front vending machine with a glowing dial face, standing alone in an empty concrete room, cables trailing from its base, single round indi…

vendor_blaze

a battered vending machine, its round dial blazing bright, the coin slot lighting up

vendor_dim

a battered vending machine, its dial dimming low, long shadow

vendor_flare

a battered vending machine, its round dial flaring bright white, ominous, dim room

vendor_reject

a vending machine slot spitting coins back out, a few sparks, dim room

vendor_roots

a battered vending machine with a glowing round dial face, thick cables trailing from its base like roots, dim concrete room

vendor_slot_lit

a vending machine with a single illuminated coin slot glowing, waiting, dark room

vendor_unimpressed

a battered vending machine, dim dial, a single steady indicator light, unimpressed

vonda

a preening moved middle-aged woman in salvaged finery, a laminated nametag pinned to her coat, hand on her chest

walter

Walter Cronkite, older television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, seated at a news desk in front of a bookshelf, reporti…

walter_armbar

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, medium wide shot at the news desk, extending one…

walter_breezy

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, breezy, gesturing toward the camera, pleasant

walter_composted

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, staring flatl…

walter_deadpan

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, deadpan, even…

walter_dry

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, one eyebrow s…

walter_firm

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, firm and serene, one hand raised

walter_gesture_monitor

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, gesturing toward a television monitor, pleasant

walter_league

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, reading from …

walter_monday

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, hands folded,…

walter_pained

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, a long pause,…

walter_papers

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, cheerful, shuffling papers at the news desk

walter_pat

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, kindly patting the shoulder of the man beside him

walter_rim

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, seated at a second news desk on the floodlit cra…

walter_serene

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, serene, signing off, hands folded

walter_signoff

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, serene, signi…

walter_smalltalk

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, relaxed, making small talk directly to the camer…

walter_toss

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, gesturing tow…

walter_unbothered

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, folding his hands on the desk, serene and unboth…

walter_warm

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, warm reassuring smile, news desk in front of a b…

walter_weather

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, gesturing at a chalk weather map, measured, 1970…

walter_wind

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, news desk in front of a bookshelf, not looking u…

walter_window

Walter Cronkite, older 1970s television news anchor, balding grey hair, thin grey mustache, dark suit and tie, glancing mildly out a studio window

warner

a sober earnest gaunt man in a frayed coat holding up a paper packet, reading the label, urgent

whistleblower_nervous

a nervous former athlete in a frayed tracksuit, glancing off-camera, dim interview backdrop, 1970s broadcast