AMERICA RULEZ!!!1!!1!!ONE!!!

Happy 4th of July citizens of Awesome Town! Today we honor how truly awesome America is. Today we are reminded of how totally bad ass it is to be an American. Today we reflect on what makes America totally sweet. In all fifty states (and a federal district, as well as a few territories) we celebrate America and American culture by eating ourselves silly, taking the day off (if you have a government job like me :), and blowing shit up. To that I say: "Heck Yes."

What makes America rad? Well if you don't know, you're probably a communist. That's okay, I won't hold that against you. You're just wrong.

Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, 
               Dude, at least it's an ethos. --Walter Sobchak

Thanks Walter. Back to my point. What make America rad? Why is America the greatest nation in the Universe*? Let me show you:

#1 Fucking Bikinis and Ballistics. What's more American than Mom and Apple Pie? Chicks in bikinis shooting fully automatic weapons that what.

Eat that Osama!

#2 We totally kicked England's ass.

#3 America is awesome because we have such incredible cultural diversity:

Yup. It takes all kinds...

#4 We are celebrated eaters. To wit: Turduckin.

Turkey, duck and chicken: one of America's greatest achievements.

#5 Even our Muppets are patriotic:

#6 Animatronic bands:

American rocks so hard, we have to build robot bands to meet our demand for awesomeness. That's right. We don't mess around. When we need to jam out with our clams out, we do it and we do it well. Here's another: