Happy 4th of July citizens of Awesome Town! Today we honor how truly awesome America is. Today we are reminded of how totally bad ass it is to be an American. Today we reflect on what makes America totally sweet. In all fifty states (and a federal district, as well as a few territories) we celebrate America and American culture by eating ourselves silly, taking the day off (if you have a government job like me :), and blowing shit up. To that I say: "Heck Yes."
What makes America rad? Well if you don't know, you're probably a communist. That's okay, I won't hold that against you. You're just wrong.
Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. --Walter Sobchak
Thanks Walter. Back to my point. What make America rad? Why is America the greatest nation in the Universe*? Let me show you:
#1 Fucking Bikinis and Ballistics. What's more American than Mom and Apple Pie? Chicks in bikinis shooting fully automatic weapons that what.
Eat that Osama!
#2 We totally kicked England's ass.
#3 America is awesome because we have such incredible cultural diversity:
Yup. It takes all kinds...
#4 We are celebrated eaters. To wit: Turduckin.
Turkey, duck and chicken: one of America's greatest achievements.
#5 Even our Muppets are patriotic:
#6 Animatronic bands:
American rocks so hard, we have to build robot bands to meet our demand for awesomeness. That's right. We don't mess around. When we need to jam out with our clams out, we do it and we do it well. Here's another:
There have been plenty of scurrilous rumors floating around about my man Barack. To combat some of these rumors, Barack's campaign started FightTheSmears.com and that seems to be doing a good job of putting the records straight. But why not fight fire with fire? He can start some of his own rumors adn spread those around. Slate has gotten the ball rolling. My Fav:
Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It's upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.
Hell yeah he does. Let's see if we can come up with some of our own.
Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.
Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, died at St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.
Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine about seven dirty words you could not say on television.
Malory and Nathan, two citizens of awesome town, and myself ventured out to Slade, KY to climb in Red River Gorge. We got there Saturday morning around 3 am and climbed our asses off for three days. Here's a little video of our trip.
The music is "Dance your Troubles Away (Trumpet mix)" by Up, Bustle & Out from the King Lines official Soundtrack. Here's a link to one of my other Red River Gorge video. Eagle-eyed viewers might notice my now famous "Tree Stem" move in both videos. I'm not joking about this, people have come up to me and said, "You're that guy who did the tree stem on YouTube!" So I recreated the experience again for this second video.
Gabriel Delahaye complied a list of his favorite Light Saber mashups.
The Star Wars kid has gotten a lot of shit over the years, mainly because he's not a professional. He simply didn't have the training necessary to pull off that fight sequence. On the other hand, there are lots of professionals who do have the training and simply lack the means to wield it. I'm talking about people like Aragorn, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Westley. If somehow you could only put a lightsaber in these fearsome warriors hands...Ugh, blogging. What am I even talking about? Let's just be ourselves, you guys. I found a bunch of clips on YouTube where people took fight sequences from other movies and overlaid lightsabers on top of them using magic, and they are hilarious, and you're gonna love it.
UPDATE: WELL CRAP. We didn't make it. Democracy has spoken damnit. Threadless won't be printing our shirt, but we'll be exploring other options in the near future. Thanks to everyone who voted and participated. In the mean time, check out the rest of MayorAwesome.com. We'll have more updates, videos and pictures of cute kittens. :)
Thanks kids!
It's a great day in Awesome Town today! Our Mayor Awesome campaign poster has been put up in the running to be made a Threadless shirt! If enough people vote for it, you'll be able to get your very own Mayor Awesome Threadless shirt. If that happened, it would be truly a day of Victory for America. But we can't do it with out your help. We need every man woman and child we can muster to go and vote for the shirt. To do this, follow this link and click on number 5. If you don't have a Threadless account, you'll need to sign up for one. All they require is an email address and they won't spam you if you un-check their newsletter box. Really it only takes a minute and you'd be helping out all of the citizens of Awesome Town. Tell your friends, family and co-workers about it too! Please spread the word. Your support means a lot, and it takes so little to show it.
A little while ago, I spent some time with Daniel D from Post Modern Side Show and we made a few shirts with the Mayor Awesome campaign poster on them. We screwed a few up, but some of them turned out to look pretty good. We made a little video showing you the process. Sorry about all the noise from the camera shake. I'll have to work on that for future videos. But anyway, check out the video here:
Also, we're a bit silly in the video. I have no idea what could have caused that. Hrmm...
Hey Kids! A wonderful time in politics with Hillary out of the race giving Obama a clear path to the White House. As you all know, I will be up for re-election in November. So far, the race is uncontested but that doesn't mean we can rest on our lorels. Here's our official Mayor Awesome campaign poster. T-Shirts, and fridge magnets are soon on the way. This November promisies to be full of fireworks. Vote for the Awesome Party in November!
Beginning? Genius. Growed up? Legend. Seen? Nothing like ever BEFORE!!! Engineering? Superb. Performance? DEFIANT!1! Transmission? Computer activated. Tires? ALL four corners asshole. Never seen that have ya? Instrument readouts? English or Metric. Updated at 16 times a second! OMGWTFBBQ! Speakers? Alien fucking technology. You see that video from that dude in Colorado? Yeah, that's where we got it. Who's taking charge? Fuckin' Chevy.
Drinking and driving ain't cool. Drinking and driving in video games just gives me a headache. Drinking and blogging ends up being embarassing. Video games have long been accused of being the cause of murder, sex and drug abuse. Kotaku takes the issue head on with their experiament: Grand Theft Audo DUI.
Awesome Townies believe strongly that the internets shouldn't be based on a "tiered" system of access. Providing more bandwith to some sites while limiting bandwith to other sites would break the internets. Ars Technica has a great article about where Barack and John stand on issues of net neutrality:
In terms of the candidates' broader philosophies on tech issues, Weitzner primarily relied on Obama's lengthy white paper. He stressed Obama's commitment to using technology as a means of promoting greater openness in government, and touted his plan to name a federal government–wide Chief Technology Officer to coordinate policy across the alphabet soup of federal agencies. Playing to the civil libertarian crowd, he also stressed Obama's anti-censorship approach to child protection, centered on prosecution of child exploiters and technological empowerment of parents.
...
And in case you were wondering, Fish reassured us that McCain "does know how to use e-mail... and a few other modern conveniences."
Great. McCain knows how to use the emails and a fucking microwave. :-/ Read the full article here.
Geeks are revered in Awesome Town. Members of the city counsel are split 70/30 in favor of geeks. The other 30% who are not geeks consist of super patriots, porn stars, facial hair enthusiats and your mom. That's right. I went THERE. 56 geeks.
